"I'm sorry, I prefer sausage to tuna." - Kristyn
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Sarge - "Here are our demands! We want the blue flag-"
Simmons - "Wait, the last time we got their flag that chick in the black armor showed up!"
Sarge - "-to stay right where it is!" - Red vs. Blue
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Boy, you're stupid." - Inuyasha
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"It's sad when someone you know, becomes someone you knew." - Henry Rollins
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*about beating on Casey*
"I take pride in my work." - Kyler
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Dylan - "I'm too lazy to run. I'll power walk."
Me - "Oh that would be SO gay."
Dylan - "If Oprah can do it, so can I!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I made up this thing, 'Oh my gosh, JOSH!' Isn't that just funny?! Because 'gosh' rhymes with 'Josh'!!!!" - Laura
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Dad, did you use my toothbrush yesterday?"
Dad - "No."
Me - "Oh. Then why was it all wet when I picked it up?"
Dad - "Cause I scrubbed my ass with it."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
D.A. - "I have all three of my exams on thursday. I plan on studying for everything but the math one, because
I'm doomed in it."
Deej - "I'm doomed in everything, so I don't have to worry."
D.A. - Yeah, we knew that."
Deej - "PC will rue the day they ever accepted me...assuming they don't already."
D.A. - "Kind of like Hendricken."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Kristyn - "You know what I'm gonna give you that's 100 times better than a flower?"
Laura - "...sex?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*watching Animal House*
"I wonder if my dad ever had to shoot a horse." - James Corey
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Will you stop being a prick?!" - Lauren (C.) to Marcinko
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Lauren Marcinko is probably the worlds cuddliest thing." - Me
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"You haven't lived until you've gone to a gay club on ladies night, man. Swear to God." - Fanning
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Wow. I have 5 canker sores in my mouth."
Ayla - "Why? Herpes?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Ayla, I DON'T have herpes."
Ayla - "Yeah, that's what they all say. Save it for the health clinic, you skank."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Kyler's Mom - "What's that mark on your face? Has that always been there?"
Kyler - "Oooh! Maybe it's cancer!"
Kyler's Mom - *Look of extreme horror*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Debbie - "You're sure I look alright?"
Sparks - "Like a steak drizzled in slut sauce!" - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Hesh is gettin his drink on!" - Hesh, "Sealab 2021"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Kyler, you're my favorite sped." - Ayla
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
^------ "Hot damn! I am good at killin' penguins!" - Ayla
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Canada: the ultimate...take the rest of your life off spot." - Ayla
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Drippy - "Close your eyes, Meatwad!"
Shake - "No, leave your eyes open, Meatwad. I wanna horrify you into a coma." - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Where has our world gone, Nick?"
Vinacco - "To shit, Josh. To shit. And what will be there at the end of it all? The Irish."
Me - "...Asshole."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Okay, I can't exactly tell you what I'm doing per se, but let's just leave it at 'flamethrower.'" - Katy
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Jeffy - "Could I be...presdidient?"
Milo - "I think you just answered your own question." - "The Oblongs"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Dr. Weird - "Gentlemen...BEHOLD! I've lost weight!"
Steve - "Hey! Way to go! You're lookin' pretty good there! What's your secret?"
Dr. Weird - "Oh, y'know...all sugars removed...MANUALLY! With this! *holds up chainsaw* *screen shot to fleshless
legs* HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Steve - "I...think I'm gonna go to lunch..."
Dr. Weird - "I have to lose 20 more pounds- OR I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Katie - "Did you know that we're typing in the same font?"
Me - "Are we?"
Katie - "You're typing a bit smaller than me though. *types in smaller font* Wait, no...hmmmm. Maybe it's just
because you're typing in black."
Me - "Is that it, Katie? Is it because it's black, and black is inferior, Katie? Is that the reason?"
Katie - "NO!!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'll tell you what's slightly humorous. Pfeiler on Vicodin." - Kurt
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*Pfeiler walks straight, looking at the ground*
"...You're just making sure you don't slip, right? *slips on ice* FUCK!" - Kurt
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*I walk by*
Ernie - "Oh! Josh! Question. Did you get that form letter done yet?"
Me - "Yup. Lemme go get it."
*I walk into office carrying a bunch of stuff*
Ernie - "...is THAT the form letter?"
Me - "Well, one of them. I wrote the McCarthy one as you asked, then I went ahead and did the Zainyeh one, the
MacGivalry one, the King one, the DePalma one, and the Cortese one. Oh, and I got these envelopes franked and these letters
to the VFW are all set to go out."
Ernie - "...you know you only had to do the McCarthy form letter, right?"
Me - "Yeah, but I got bored."
Ernie - "Insane Irish..."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Ayla is my hero."
Ayla - "Josh is my whore."
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Is it a bad thing that I set my watch to military time so I could see 13:37?"
Vinacco - "...Yes. Yes it is."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ayla - "My tummy is upset."
Me - "Tell it one of your jokes and make it laugh. *BA DUMP CLASH* Sweet Jesus I'm good!"
Ayla - "Yeah, except instead of your typical punchline sound effect, I just pictured you falling over on a drum
set and knocking it over. Don't ask me why."
Me - "Hahahaha!"
Ayla - "For whatever reason, I just saw: *Josh falls on drum set, knocks it all over, and makes a load of noise*...then
you standing up and saying, 'Sweet Jesus, I'm good!'"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me *walks in with newspaper clippings* - "Here you go. Some more presents from me to you."
Ernie - "I love presents from you, Josh."
Me - "...Oh my."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Josh Kane is my hero." - Faye
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "Oh man...easter...so much food"
Victor *shrieking* - "HAM!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Every body loves the Manic drink! I sold one to Mrs. Conway the diabetic, and a 6-pack to the medics who
rushed her to the hospital!" - Milo, The Oblongs
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Moltar, you're only the director. Nobody wants to see or hear about you, and that's why you suck." - Space Ghost
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "I love food."
Kurt - "So do I, if you couldn't already tell."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah...alcohol and pizza don't really go together. Especially when they're coming out of your nose." - Ellie
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Bodies are for fat people and hookers! All I need is a big wad of cash with a head wrapped around it." - Bender,
Futurama _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Moltar - "Changes to the show? How about I come out at the beginning of each show and hit you upside the head
with a hammer?"
Zorak - "...I'd watch that show."
Moltar - "Then I'll set your teeth on fire and puncture your eardrums with golf tees until your spinal fluid
leaks out."
Space Ghost - "Thank you, Moltar, but-"
Zorak - "I'll do the hammer part. You can do the...lighting the teeth on fire part."
Moltar - "No, I want to do the hammer."
Zorak - "I do the hammer!"
Moltar - "You ALWAYS do the hammer!"
Zorak - "I'm the hammer! Me! ZORAK IS THE HAMMER! ZORAK IS THE HAMMER! *tweaks out*"
Space Ghost - "Alright, it's settled. Zorak is the hammer. Moltar, you suck."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I shall not walk so that a child may live!...That's what it does!" - Shake, ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I just asked a girl I'm not even interested in to marry me. I love life. It's so fun." - Tim
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Deej - "Hanno il whiskey? Si, miei amici!"
D.A. - "IL WHISKEY! Haha! Like Winnie ille Pooh...or something...Whiskey the Pooh?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
D.A. - "My best foot isn't flowered enough."
Deej - "Practice is the key."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Tally ho! ...Count your prostitutes, I guess." - Amanda
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"C'mon, Frylock. What else am I gonna do? I ain't got no job, my wife left me, I got bills piling up, I got child
support to pay, and even though none of that's true, I believe it." - Meatwad, ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Meatwad - "Something's wrong with the TV."
Frylock - "Nothing's wrong with the TV."
*blood squirts out of TV*
Frylock - "...Okay, something's wrong with the TV." - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*After killing mutant George Washington as a result of excessive cloning of $1 bills*
"Man, we should've cloned 20's. Jackson wouldn't give a fuck." - Frylock, ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Inignot - "Any questions? Remember, there are no stupid questions."
Mothman - "Yo, right here."
Inignot - "Yes, the retard with the dumb question." - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Inignot - "Everyone...bow your heads and pretend to be serious."
Urr - "Do it or I'll bow 'em for ya!" - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ernie - "Here, Josh. Can you fax this for me?"
Me - "Sure, lemme see it."
John - "Hey, lemme take that for you." *takes paper*
*I stare blankly at him*
John - "What?"
Me - "You turk mah jerrrrrrrrrb!"
Mike *from behind a CLOSED DOOR at the top of his lungs* - "HE TURK YER JERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRB!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "I could eat off the top of Lauren's head."
*Theresa laughs*
Lauren - "No, seriously. He's done it. Do you have any idea how hard cake frosting is to get out of your hair?
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Burke *retard voice/yelling* - "I'm stokin' the fire!"
James Corey - "Shut up, my parents are sleeping!"
Burke *retard voice* - "STOKING THE FIRE!"
*Corey starts running after Burke*
Burke *shouting/retard voice/runs into woods* - "I'm James Duffer in the jungle in Vietnaaaam!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Adi - *pounces*
Me - "Meeeeeeeeeeep!"
Adi - "Sorry, I needed a hug and was too lazy to ask."
____________________________________________________________________________________________
*About Burke slipping and falling down*
Burke - "Yeah, I turned the corner and my feet were this high off the ground."
Me - "Five feet. Just short of a Lauren Marcinko."
Theresa - "Ha! Yeah, just short."
Me - "'My feet were Lauren Marcinko high off the ground.'"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*I download Stepmainia for Kat*
"I HAVE DDR ON MY COMPUTER!!!" - Katie
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"She's sitting interning style." - Me
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Foss - "I forgot where I got it."
Me - "Where'd you get it?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*watching Last Samurai*
"What kind of sex is this? They take clothes off and put them back on. It's like red-light/green-light sex."
- Foss
____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I just ran a mile in flip-flops and I'm so proud of myself that I have to tell everybody!" - Ayla
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "You're drunk, aren't you?"
Lefoley - "No. Almost. Okay, maybe a little. Hahaha, you make me laugh, Josh."
(*sigh/shakes head*)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "I'm gonna go mow the lawn. It's like a jungle out there."
Lefoley *still drunk* - "Like PUSSY. Hahahahaha."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Collette - "What time is it right now?"
Me - "2:30 or so."
Collette - "Ok, thanks. I'm in a different time zone. I get confused."
Me - "Hmmm? Aren't you home?"
Collette - "No, I'm in Romania."
Me - "... ... ... WTF?!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Luck is one of my many skills." - Isamu Dyson
____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Jesus was cool with the powers, and the healing, and the forgiving of the stupid people." - Pillz-E, "Ill Will
Press"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Mercs...Elementals...Necromongers...Shit, I've never been so popular." - Riddick, "The Chronicles of Riddick"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Dude, you know why I love graduation parties? Cause there's madd free food." - Faye
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ayla - "No more car accidents, do you understand me?"
Me - "Okay, I'll try my best."
Ayla - "If you die, I will go on a killing spree. Because murdering innocent people will solve everything."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Deej - "hehe...I have a sundae..."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Hirth - "Deej, do something with your life."
Deej - *look of utter disbelief*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Professor - "This is the death clock! It accurately tells you how long you have left to live."
Leela - "Does it really work?"
Professor - "Eh...it's accurate enough."
Fry - "Lemme try! What's it say?"
Professor *whistles*
Bender - "Dibs on his CD player." - Futurama
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Hehehehehehe...I still have a sundae..." - Deej
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Deej - "What the fuck is up with these 'ideas'? When I was young, we didn't need that shit. Did we have ideas? NO! We had
FACTS, fucker!"
Me - "And we had to walk 12 miles in the snow!...And uphill both ways!"
Deej - "Precisely. Now
get the hell out of my house before I shit myself and throw my colostomy bag at you." __________________________________________________________________________________________
Me *eating chinese food* - "Augh...I love gookfood."
Kurt - "I love the gooks. Easily my favorite race of people.
So take that, the Swedes." __________________________________________________________________________________________
"I've decided that from now on, I'm going to say 'slice of gum' instead of 'piece of gum.'" - Kurt __________________________________________________________________________________________
Tom Turkey - "Is that a taco pie?"
Meatwad - "Mmm hmm."
Tom Turkey - "Taco pie!"
Meatwad - "I added food coloring, cause it's a holiday. But it turned black because I added all the food coloring I had.
And I ate this butter straight out of the tub, cause it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything."
- ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*giant tree appears on front lawn*
Meatwad - "Hey, have we always had this tree out there?"
Shake - "Yes..."
Meatwad - "I need to be more observant. My wife's ALWAYS on my back about it."
Shake - "Who's talking to you?! Will you let us talk?! ...Now get the gasoline, it's blocking the yard."
- ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*after getting kidnapped by mutant trees*
Shake *in giant frying vat* - "What're they gonna do to me?!"
Frylock - "I wish I could tell you, Shake...but I don't know."
Meatwad - "I don't care. It's gonna be funny to see." - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"On the moon, nerds get their pants pulled down and are spanked with moon rocks." - Inignot, ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Get your hellin' damnin' ass back in that bitchin' damn room, dammit!" - Meatwad, ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Oglethorpe - "Get me...THE UNIVERSAL REMONSTER!"
Emory - "We're still...uh, shoot...we're still beta-testing that."
Oglethorpe - "What you're testing is me and my patience. Get him out here now!"
- ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Emory - "Wow, you made Tshirts? That's cool."
Oglethorpe - "Oh, yeah. Lemme go get you one."
Emory - "Wow...is that a Powerpuff Girl or something?"
Oglethorpe - "NO! Can you not see that she has a mohawk and wheelchair? We are not getting sued..."
- ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Oglethorpe - "Where is the remonster?!"
Emory - "Aw, man! I think he went through the Stargate!"
Oglethorpe - "It's a FARGATE! From the makers of Findependence Day?! We could give it a mohawk and wheelchair if you need
help!" - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Frylock - "Your 'Re-Monster' is dead."
Oglethorpe - "Impossible! The remonster can only be killed by stabbing him in the heart with the ancient bone saber of
Zumakalya!"
Emory - "Or maybe his head and lungs too, just stab him wherever."
Oglethorpe - "And the saber probably doesn't have to be bone."
Emory - "Yeah, just anything sharp, really."
Oglethorpe - "You could poke him with a pillow and kill him..." - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*talking about how my triple cheeseburger took forever to make.*
*Kurt sits down*
Kurt - "Man, it took a long time for them to make that. It's like you ordered it with Tahitian mushrooms or something,
and they were all out, so they sent a guy to Tahiti to get them, but he got killed, so they had to send another guy, but he
was seduced by the native women and didn't escape for a year and just got back with your mushrooms."
Me - *long pause/eye contact* "You were just thinking about that outside, weren't you?"
Kurt - "Yup."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Debbie - "Stormy, shoot that thing!"
Stormy - "I'm not Stormy, I'm 'He Who Smokes Bitches!'" - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Cait - "My favorite tune is 'Miller of Droghan.'"
Me - "I know. You've told me. Several times."
Cait - "I'm burning it into your brain, dear."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Frylock - "Y'know, Meatwad and Carl have been hanging out a lot lately."
Shake - "Why, you wanna stop it? RAPE! RAPE! OH GOD, RAPE!" - ATHF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm not a drunk. I'm just very thirsty." - Duffer
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Kat - "Eat something."
Me - "It's funny cause I'm going to."
Kat - "Ha! You're predictable."
Me - "Oh really now? What am I eating then?"
Kat - "...Better not be Nic."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Katie - "I almost got a henna on the small of my back that was like eyes...it was really cool."
Foss - "Naah, cause then when Nick's doing you from behind, someone's looking at him...that's just not cool. *long pause*
I'm lookin' out for my bro."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Katie - "Tom is a very attractive man."
Foss - "Yeah, if you're gay or a priest."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Know what's great about your quotepage? Lots of things I've said are in it." - Kurt
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Birdman - "Welcome aboard, new clerk!"
Peanut - "Greeeaaaaat!...-do I get a gun?"
Birdman - "Sure!" - Harvey Birdman
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Kurt - "God damn, I'm awesome."
Me - "Modest much?"
Kurt - "Hell no."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Phil - "Do you know what this means to the firm?! The billable hours?! I can finally build that lakehouse. And I'll
run around naked all day...Hah haaaah...Dangly parts..." - Harvey Birdman
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Eviler said than done..." - Sinister Mike
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I don't want to hear another word about this! If you're not careful, you'll get us all whacked...Hah haaaaaaaah...Body
in a woodchipper." - Phil, "Harvey Birdman"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Man, everyone goes somewhere good every summer. I just go to my bitter grandma's and listen to her tell me to eat more
for three days." - Green Steve
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Deej - "There is one person who is superior to Walky in the 'no kthx section. eBoniCs."
D.A. - "Definitely. Walky bends the gender line enough already."
Deej - "Haha! Almost as much as I bend the ?!?!?! line."
D.A. - "You bend a plane."
Deej - "The plane of sense?"
D.A. - "No, the plane of all the lines you've bent."
Deej - "Also, all the lines I've crossed."
D.A. - "That's a cube."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Collette - "I love packages."
Me - *phhhhhhhhht.*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Vinacco *looking at waitress* - "Dude, I would SO donkey-punch her."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I looked, and I saw an 'I Know Ryan Foss' shirt, and I thought to myself, 'Hey, that guy knows Ryan Foss too. Wait a minute,
that's Josh Kane!'" - Katie
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*After finishing Legend of Max*
Mark - "You gonna make it, buddy?"
Me - "Yeah...as soon as I get over the lung rape."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I love misogyny." - Deej
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Ready for some spoilers? Rosebud is the sled. Darth Vader is Luke's Father. Jack and Tyler Durden are the same person."
- Sinister Mike
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"What was the deal with that Downy bear thing anyway? He was always so creepy...and had that laundry basket wherever he
went. *high voice* 'I'm so cuddly soft because my detergent is filled with love and child's blood!' *shudders*" - Green Steve
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Jesus Christ, I'm a Carter. What else do you need to know?" - Carter
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Shawn - "Wait, I just caught a Mewtwo. I should probably save...just in case by some random act of God I finally lose my
gameboy for good."
Steve - "Yeah. God comes down and says 'No Mewtwo. Sacrelidge. Can't explain...see ya later.'"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Quinn - "Stormy, give me some coordinates or else we'll be floating out here for a hundred years."
Stormy - "Yeah, thanks to my kickass welding." - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*goes nuts on guitar*
"Do I not rival Ronnie James Dio in my rock ability?!" - Dr. Virje, Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Hesh wants girl-on-girl action!" - Hesh, Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Shawn *singing* - "Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination...take a look and you'll see into your imagination..."
Steve - "Isn't that the song the Oompa Loompas listened to until they killed people?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen." - Hellsing
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"The weight of a sword that stole a life will drag you down to hell. That is the killer sword of the Hitokiri Battosai."
- Samurai X
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Coach Shanks - "Hey, Stormy...does your mat smell like pee-pee?"
Stormy - "Yeah, among other things...*farts*" - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Quinn - "What the?! Stormy! How could you NOT have finished high school?!"
Stormy - "Well, you know how those aptitude tests are racially biased?"
Quinn - "Yeah...and you're WHITE."
Stormy - "That doesn't mean I don't deserve an education." - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Quinn - "Ok, what exactly are you having problems with?"
Stormy - "That STUPID alphabet..." - Sealab 2021
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Steve - "Yeah, I'm actually keeping crowds in my dorm below 4 - my main problem - and I got Beatmania. And Rose is coming
back. I've got a comic that rocks to run, and enough video games do down an elephant."
Me - "Haha! Enough video games to down an elephant."
Steve - "Dunno how exactly you'd submit an elephant to them, but it's certainly enough."
Me - "Well...physically...just put them all in a huge sock. and then BAM. Down like a baby dropped off the Empire State
building...which would be as funny as it is horrible. Oh my god, think about that. Imagine yourself walking down a street
and then *plop*...baby."
Steve - "'Is it still fresh?' Heh, joking. Actually, it would probably be more like, 'Hmm...I wonder if I'll get
a reward for tipping the media...'"
Me - "Honestly, I'd laugh at first. Just out of reflex from my 'WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!' response."
Steve - "I probably would too. I'd just also like to get recognized as the guy who reported the October ballistic baby.
You know...so I could feel good about myself after laughing at baby death."
Me - "Hahaha! Oh my god...we're horrible people."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm going to piss all over Jeter and make Rodriguez lick it off and then shit it out so Matsui can use it as sauce for
his rice." - Cassandra
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Steve - "Man, they should hold nude drawing outside."
Me - "Haha! Where did that come from?"
Steve - "Heh. I dunno, I'm just thinking, it'd reeeeeally make it more tolerable if it just went the whole mile instead
of finding the creepiest possible midpoint of innapropriatness and camping there."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "I'm so glad I'm not an art major."
Steve - "It's a bad life leading to a worse future, but dammit, I'm gonna suffer for the right to wear a beret."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Steve - "Yeah, I'm going to visit my friend Rachel in Boston, and her roommates."
Me - "Oooooh...surrounded by girls, eh?! *nudge nudge nudge* We're gonna miss ya."
Steve - "Heh, yeah, I guess I will sorta miss the cock. ...Oh, wait, that wasn't what you were insinuating. Ok, I guess
that one crossed the 'disturbing' threshold."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Shawn - "Steve, I want to have hot, steamy sex with you."
Steve - *look of shock* "I thought you'd NEVER ask!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I just played 3 rounds of beer pong and won." - Lauren Marcinko (...WTF?!)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Brendan - "What's wrong with sandals? I like sandals."
Gen - "Sandals are such pussy footwear for men."
Brendan - "What's wrong with sandals? Jesus wore them."
Gen - "Yea, and look how he died."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*about this year's Ozzfest*
"My crowning achievement was Clown from Slipnot threatening to kill me." - Dylan
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "So...how bout those Yankees?"
Kyler - "Their asses must hurt from sitting down so much...and probably hurt
from all that gay sex too, but I don't judge."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "They WERE the law..."
Jess - "Who?"
Me - "Mexicans."
Jess - "I don't follow."
Me - "Neither do I...but let's keep going."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"This fucking shit just fuckin wants me to make me light a nun on fire and punch a clown in the face." - Duffer drunk,
(no, no typos)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*Foss hands drunk Duffer a cup of orange soda, Jager, and Goldschlager*
Duffer - "I don't wanna drink it."
Me - "But James! It's magical flying potion!"
*Duffer smiles, grabs cup and drinks it. Proceeds to grab one of James' towels, tie it around his neck, and go "flying"
outside. Theresa and Burke try to get him back in."
*Duffer stumbles in 10 minutes later*
Me - "Hey, Duff. Who'd you bomb?"
Duffer - "I fucking bombed those Iraquis...fucking killed Saddam." *collapses*
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Dad, they took my Sam Adams!" - drunk James Corey
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm not black, I'm big boned." - Damian
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"It sounds like the feral mating cry of the retarded mexican sasquatch!" - Sarge, Red VS Blue
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
*middle of random conversation*
Bailey - "I don't think Foss would willingly kill a person."
Me - "I beg to differ. I wouldn't put it past him. I know some people that, under the right circumstances, would send him
spiraling into a void of pissed off that I never knew existed...then y'know...he'd off them."
Dylan - "I LOVE bananas."
*Me and Bailey stare blankly at him*
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*during some dumb conversation*
Me - "Be quiet! You have a vagina!"
Manda - *makes sad face and covers crotch* "Now I'm sad..."
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Bailey - "I want sex, dammit."
Me - "...There's always Duffer."
Bailey - "I wanna get laid! Not AIDS!"
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"Jahoobilas!!!" - Manda
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*James and Duffer closely whispering*
---time passes---
James - "Hey Duff."
Duffer - "Yeah?"
James - "If we keep this close, I'm going to kiss you."
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Dylan *sees roadkill at side of road* - "What th-was that a bear? I think that was a bear. It was either a bear, or a really
big beaver."
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"I'm a tad retarded. I've come to terms with this." - Kyler
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*Me, Bailey, and Colleen walk into Dylan's house on New Years*
Dylan (drunk) *turns to us* - "I'm makin' burritos!!"
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Frylock - "Well, what do you think, Meatwad?"
Meatwad - "...My butt itches." - ATHF
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"You could pay 3 or 4 hundred thousand dollars for a luxurous house in one part of Rhode Island, and you could get a hedgehog
cage. Hedgehogs...we don't have hedgehogs here, do we? I remember back in England, there were families of hedgehogs in the
garden. Not like those raccoon things *growls.* Hedgehogs just sniffle and snuffle and they don't bite. ...Wait, what the
hell am I talking about? Hedgehogs? Jesus Christ." - Prof. Motte
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Shake - "What are you doing in the shower?!"
Meatwad *grins* - "...Bathin'."
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*playing Star Wars: Battlefront*
"Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. I shot you in the face!" - Dylan
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Old Man - "I can't let go of this jewel shard, I can't...The average life of a man nowadays is 50, and I'll be 70 in a
few short weeks. I can't let go yet, I must hold on."
Kikyo - "And what could you accomplish in such poor condition."
Old Man - "...I will go on until I find my deathbed." - Inu Yasha
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